How to Raise a Scholar
High School Counseling
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家庭可以做些什么来确保他们的孩子上大学
Produced by The Reading Room
林德伯格中学,十大菠菜导航网址
在B伯爵的慷慨支持下. and Loraine H. Miller Foundation
This information is designed for parents who want a better life for their children with lots of opportunities and a chance to make their dreams come true.
这些建议来自懂行的人, 因为他们是家里第一个在学校表现好的人, to finish high school, 然后继续完成大学学业.
We asked them: "What did your parents do that helped you make it through school?" Here's what they said.
Suggestions from The Pioneers: Teachers who were the first in their own families to graduate from college.
- 让你的孩子知道你为什么想让他们上大学. 坦率地说,贫穷令人发臭. 教育是找到一份体面工作的关键, starting your own business, 让当局听你的, 照顾好你爱的人, 过着美好体面的生活.
- Start with the babies. 当孩子开始说话时,回答他们的问题. 告诉孩子“闭嘴”会阻碍他们天生的学习好奇心. 早睡的习惯从婴儿时期就开始养成了.
- 总是鼓励孩子的任何进步. 这并不意味着他们已经发挥了最大的潜力, 但他们需要听到你对他们的努力的骄傲和认可. 有些父母用语言向孩子表达这种骄傲, 有些人带着孩子向朋友炫耀, 有些人甚至会跳一小段舞!
- Teachers want children to take academic risks even if it means they fail once in a while. 失败是成长的一部分,尽管它令人痛苦. It is okay to accept your children's limitations in certain areas without believing they are failures in life. 参与比输赢更重要.
- Creating a time or place to study is critical, even when it is difficult. 卧室里的一张小桌子可以用作书桌. 当没有空间放置额外的家具时, the whole family can sit together for one quiet hour of reading and studying, including the parents.
- TURN OFF THE TELEVISION! Or take children to the library to study or insist they stay after school in the homework center. Homework centers and after school tutoring have the advantage of providing academic help as well as a quiet place to study.
- Follow through with consequences even if you cannot give your child everything. 当家庭作业完成后,你的孩子可能会和朋友一起玩. 还会有其他放纵的时候,尤其是在成功之后.
- Believe in your children! You may need to overcome the "nay-sayers" and advocate for your children. 如果你想让你的孩子上大学,他们就可以上大学!
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更多来自父母的建议:
“我想让我的孩子过上更好的生活。."
- 挖. Ask specific questions. 例子:“我想待在家里.“为什么? "The teacher doesn't like me." How do you know that? 这个人说:“这个孩子老是找我的茬,而老师却什么也不做." Instead of accepting your child's statements at face value, find out what is going on. What did you do today? "Nothing." Did you have a test today? 在什么? How did it go? What grade did you get?
- 当有问题时,跟着孩子去学校. 看看在公共汽车上、教室里、操场上发生了什么. 观察你的孩子是如何与同伴互动的. If your children make unnecessary noise at home, they probably do it in school. If children play too rough at home, they probably play too rough in school.
- 通过关注你的孩子说了什么,做了什么, 你得到了帮助孩子所需的信息. Be sure to get the whole picture first, by talking to teachers for their point of view.
- Teachers are taught to describe a child's behavior: "Your son is not doing well. 他不停地说话,而且总是不在座位上.你可能把这句话理解为:“我不喜欢你的孩子。.“喜欢一个人而不喜欢他的行为是可能的. Be careful to help your child take responsibility for his behavior as part of growing up.
- 你的孩子需要对你负责,告诉你她在哪里, what she does, 还有她和谁混在一起, 无论是在学校还是在校外. 期待你的孩子对你负责. 孩子需要规则和结构. They cannot be expected to do what adults do or to have the same privileges. You are the adult and have a right and responsibility to make the rules in the home.
- The most difficult and exhausting thing about parenting (and teaching) is repetition. After a careful lecture from you, the child's behavior reverts back two days later! 你还需要监督高中的孩子, still tell them to get their backpacks out and their clothes ready for tomorrow! You still have to insist on a bedtime and wake that sleepy teenager up when it is time to get ready for school! 有时你会想,“我的孩子会自己起床去上学吗??"
- 当你和孩子沟通有困难时, look for problem areas by comparing what your different children are doing or not doing. 为什么弟弟妹妹有家庭作业而姐姐没有? How can the son complete his work in class when he is supposed to listen to the teacher?
- These days your child may need help coping with friends and issues he may have with other children. We all know the playground is challenging territory and the streets can be dangerous. By helping children think out what sentences they need to say and what actions they can take, 你帮助他们发展解决问题的能力.
- Keep your children busy with healthy activities: drama, Girl Scouts, sports, dance lessons, etc. 这有助于他们结交好朋友,提高他们的自尊心. Taking them to places to find out more about what they are interested in helps them find their way in life.
离你最近的公共图书馆分馆提供:
- After-school homework help
- Computers
- Evening and weekend hours
- Family programs
今天申请借书证.
来自前线的建议:孩子对孩子.
- 创造性地解决问题. Offer to clean the room you share with your sister in return for getting the space to yourself for homework. 当你的弟弟们在外面玩的时候,你就呆在家里. 等到孩子们都上床睡觉了再做作业.
- If parents cannot help you with your homework, try an older brother or sister. 放学后问你的老师. 有时你的父母可以雇一个大学生做家教.
- Try to develop a balance between working hard during the week and relaxing on the weekends. If you do all your homework during the week, you can relax with your friends on the weekend.
- Look for opportunities and take advantage of them, not by chance, but deliberately. 参加课后作业俱乐部, 寻求当地公共图书馆提供的辅导, 放学后去找老师寻求帮助.
- Two things will give you a competitive edge in getting homework done and doing well in school: access to word processing (a computer) and encyclopedias. 让你的父母帮助你获得这些东西.
Some Conclusions.
In talking with students, parents, and teacher-pioneers, we hear consistent themes for success:
Doing well in school requires a certain amount of conformity to the school culture, even while at home. It requires courage from children to withstand the negative pressure from peers not to be a "school boy" or "school girl." It requires courage and energy from parents to find out what is going on, to approach teachers, 为他们的孩子辩护.
聪明才智对成功很重要, whether it is deciding that the whole family will sit down after dinner to study and read, 或者收养一只小猫来帮助一个孤独的孩子专注于学业.
对情感支持的需求是显而易见的. It is also very simple: children want to do well and please their parents. Sometimes children have to start at the bottom and need each little achievement to be noted with a positive word from a parent. 这给了孩子们坚持下去的力量.
And persevere they will. The bottom line for students, for parents, and for teachers is determination. Some are driven because they want to please their parents by doing well in school, some are driven to prove they can get an education when everyone around them is telling them they can't, and some are driven because what they want to do in life requires a college degree. But whatever their motives, 为了让孩子们有力量去实现他们的目标, they must be convinced deep within that education is something desirable and attainable.